Night bus bingo: Myanmar edition

Taking a trip on the night bus in Myanmar? Let us know how many of these you ‘experience’ with your night bus bingo score…

  • You become engrossed in the national sitcom that’s playing for the first 2 hours of your journey even though you don’t understand a word of it
  • Karaoke is played at full volume for the remainder of the journey. Nobody sings along.
  • You emergency stop for a live animal (bonus points if it’s a snake)
  • Someone belches every few minutes for 12 straight hours
  • Or hocks something up from the back of their throat
  • Or is sick into a plastic bag of precarious quality after every tight bend
  • Your driver stops the bus to buy a live animal from the roadside for his dinner
  • You’ve just fallen asleep when all the lights come on and you have to get off the bus for a forced loo break… At 1am, 3am and 5am
  • You arrive 2 hours ahead of schedule, and several hours before you’re allowed to check in anywhere due to it being some unearthly hour in the morning.
  • There are 7 tuk tuk drivers vying for your attention, and blocking your way from actually getting off the bus, much to the annoyance of everyone
  • All 7 drivers are asking for the name of your hostel when you can barely even remember your own name
  • When at last you can form conscious thought, the first thing you shout (you’ve been deafened by karaoke for 10 hours) is ‘WHERE ARE WE?’ in case you’ve been kicked off early
  • The bus station is 20km away from your hostel
  • You reach your hostel in 15 minutes because your tuk tuk drives at 80 km/h. In the middle of the road. With his lights off. Meanwhile, you pray for your life in the cage at the back.
  • Once you’ve safely arrived and your knees have stopped knocking, the three biggest wild dogs in town are lying across the single road to your hostel. They’re barking at you.
  • The straps on your sandals inexplicably stop working whilst you’re hobbling along with a dead leg and three bags
  • After waking up the night concierge and convincing him to hand over the Wifi code, you immediately Google ‘best breakfast in [town where you’re staying]
  • The very next thing you Google is ‘nearest breakfast to me’ because map reading is not something you have time for at 5.30am
  • After finally checking in and falling asleep, you wake up several hours later with no recollection of what just happened. Three days later, you do it all again.

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